It’s a Nes

Well, Chicago was very different then I expected. I had a very long MRI on Tues and Wed at noon I met worn Dr. Burt and Dr. B. The main doctor was very short and almost rude in that way that doctors can be when rushed and doing very important work. He was concerned with my neck, said I have buldging disks (who knew) pressing on my spinal cord. This could be causing the neck, back and leg issues. He really wanted to compare MRIs and have me meet with his neurologist. I think he saw the tears forming in my eyes because he tried to talk about my jewelry and ease me a bit. I held it together, but did not get the feeling a yes was in my future. As soon as he left the room, I burst into tears. It is hard to explain why. He made it seem like the MS on my brain was not to the degree he has seen in others. This is normally a good thing, but I can’t tolerate the existing medications. I am nearly out of options and the fact that all my future hopes were pinned on this was and still is completely overwhelming. To my horror, his nurse came in and caught me in the middle of my ugly cry. Oh well. We left his office and found our way to Dr B. The whole trip is a blur. I barely remember getting there. I remember using a ton of tissues and trying to hold back a nervous breakdown. I will say I loved the neurologist. I loved his nurse even more. He was amazing with me and his nurse was so compassionate that she asked the doctor if she could stay with me for my appointment. He actually asked me about my MS. I asked him about the disk. He said the neck down could be from the disk and the arthritis in my back (both are news to me), but the eye, cognitive, vertigo and all else is MS. He still had to review the disks with Dr Burt and they will get back to me. He said clearly I have MS issues and clearly I have back issues. Both need to be addressed. It’s just so hard. He left me saying, It is not a no and it is not a yes…. For not is a NES. So I wait and see. Should hear within a few days. I leave my life in Gods hands as always and pray he had a cure for me in His plan.


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