Today I was so excited to go out.  I didn’t care where I went,  but I wanted out.  The only thing I really wanted was my “Handful of Everything” trail mix from Target.  So we go.  Before we head into the store we decide to walk a few blocks to a cafe I saw on Yelp.  I don’t know what happened to me,  but my eye starts throbbing.  I explain it to people that it feels like someone stuck a shish kabob stick through the back of my eye.  Nothing helps but a high dose of antinflamatory (Torodol). I’m trying not to take this because I will need to be extra cautious to avoid anything that will enhance bleeding.   Anyway,  I walk into the cafe and I lose it.   I start crying.  Not ugly crying, but holding it in eyes tearing up crying.  I get nauseous…. Now I can’t eat and I feel like I am personally offending the cafe owner.   I try to control myself.  We leave and go to target,  still not any better.  I’m thinking I need the padded room at this point.  I’m not crying because of the pain… It’s because I was supposed to be home this week and I am homesick for my girl.  I know she will be here Friday,  but I can’t stop.  At this point,  I could laugh at myself for crying.  Now I KNOW I need a padded room.  Anyway,  I took an ativan to calm me down.  Thank God I had one in my purse and we head home… Trail mix in hand.

I am better once we are back in the room and I decide that I am going to cheer myself up the best way I know how.  I’m going to channel my Texas peps and put the shirt they sent me on. So, here it is,  my relief from the insanity that is my head today:   

I love you guys and I miss you.  You have all helped to keep me sane these past 2 years and you are still doing it from a distance!  ❤️😘💋

Honestly, I am much better since I got back.  I really think it is a mix of meds.  I am not usually like this at all.  I am going to venture out again in a bit to buy a dress for Rosie to wear to dinner Friday (and a matching one for her doll)  at the “Throw Your Money Away” American Girl Place. 

Xoxo

Colleen

PS – Happy Birthday Krista!  Wish we were home to celebrate with you.  Love you!